I am officially closing this blog. I have huge hopes to go private in the near future on my other blog. When we know what we are doing again as far as moving forward towards an adoption I may set another blog up but it will be privates as well. If you want an invite let me know who you are! Thanks for reading and supporting! Tanya
I have wanted to write an update, but unsure what to write! I am not the best at putting my feelings and thoughts into words. So I won't, I will share what keeps coming to me the past few days. I read an Ensign article in 2008 that I have always loved, it has stuck with me and has given me great strength!
Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “We lived in the presence of God our Holy Father and His Beloved Son, Jesus Christ, in a premortal existence. … We were told “… You were taught and prepared for the circumstances you would personally encounter in mortality. … Your memory of premortal life would be kept from you to assure that it would be a valid test, but there would be guidance given to show you how to live. Our Father’s plan for salvation in this life with the opportunity of returning to Him would be called the gospel of Jesus Christ” (“Truth Restored,” Liahona and Ensign, Nov. 2005, 78–79).
The knowledge I get, knowing I was taught and prepared for the trials I,and my family has encounter this past week, gives me great peace and strength! To know I was prepared to handle this trial, and given all the tools I would need to get through any and all trials I will face. That's the greatest blessing I could ever ask for. I have comfort, happiness and the knowledge that what we are to do can and will happen!
I want to tell everyone that has supported us this week "THANK YOU"! You have helped build us up, offer love, comfort and support! Your guys are the best!!!!
Hi everyone, Oh where to begin. A lot has happened over the last two day. Today has been a very emotional and very difficult day to say the least! We just finished sitting down with our kids and explaining to them that their brother and sister aren't coming home. That Kingsley and Sarah situation in Ghana wasn't at all what we were made to believe it was. That they have a loving family and that that family isn't certain on adoption and what it actually entails. As a mom that was so heart wrenching and painful, to see my kids suffer, to see them go through such disappointment and grieving. We have all cried together and prayed together. I have always admired and appreciated how determined and faithful my kids have been, how willing they are to sacrifice of themselves to bring their siblings home. They will and have given all of themselves to make it happen. I have worried about squashing their faith, squashing their trust in the adoption process and in people, squashing their desire to ever adopt again. But again my kids have been amazing and have surprised me. They are strong and know that adoption is what's right for our family. They want us to move forward, they want us to do all we can as parents to find our children, their siblings, that need to be apart of our family. Of course they are hurt, sad, and disappointed and can't understand how or why Kingsley and Sarah situation is completely different that what we were told. But they have found hope within themselves and within our family to keep going. I don't know what this means for us right now, how we are to move forward past this, or what we will do in the near future. All I can say right now is that I have HOPE in my heart and Faith in the Lord that he has lead us here a reason, a reason I don't understand now, but will some day. As a family we are leaning on our testimonies and on our own personal revelations to get us through this difficult time. Thank you all for supporting us through emails, phone calls, orders and with the desire in your heart to bring our family together forever.I feel so bad that this happens to affect you as well. I am so sorry! I want everyone to know we are not done, we will still fight, fight for our family that's not yet complete and someday we will be blessed with our children. As of right now we are working on obtaining the money we sent, we aren't sure if we will get it back, but hope we will. Our entire family has went to great lengths to sacrifice for every penny of it. Please keeps us in your prayers. I found this on a good friends blog, someone I admire and appreciate it. And it really fits to how I feel right now so I thought I would share it!
A wonderful person (KARA)I have gotten to know and love, asked her AMAZING husband to take some picture of our family over to Ghana to our kids and they video taped it for us. They warned me that our kids were really shy and quiet when they sent it to me. I really couldn't have imagined them any different to be honest with you. I can't imagine what must have been going through their minds seeing pictures of us and trying to make sense of it all. Not to mention it possibly being their first time in a living room with a couch and make shift t.v. and white people all around. This video is very special to me. Up until this point we had two pictures of Sarah(that were very different from each other. At first I questioned whether she was the same girl). We've always had a lot more info and pictures of Kingsley, which has been really enjoyable. In this video I was able to see MY Sarah for really the first time, her precious personality, her adorable smile. WOW it was touching. I just wanted to reach out and huge her. It was so great to hear her voice and see how she reacted to seeing our family and knowing she will have 3 sisters and 2 brothers. Kingsley was quiet but just as precious and sweet. This is something I will always treasure. Thank you so much Bill and Thomas for taking the time to do this for our family.
WHY...... Do we adopted? This is the easiest question for me to answer, yet hard for me to put into words.
Last night we had our hometeacher come over for the first time. He asked us to introduce our kids, of course our kids were so excited to say that they have a brother and a sister in Ghana that we are adopting. In a sweet and genuine way he asked somewhat puzzled, "why do you adopt"? He went on to say, "I don't really get it, I have never been around anyone that has adopted before". I am sure many wonder this same question, or feel the same way he does. So I thought I would take a moment to explain why we choose to adopt!
I can remember a moment when I was 10 that I saw Maury interviewing a young child who had had a rough life, then given the opportunity to be adopted, loved and cared for. At that moment I told myself when I am older I will adopt. That was one simple moment that just grew and grew in reason and in meaning for me. As I joined the LDS church and clung to our family values and growing my own family. I never had a question only knowledge that some of my children would come from me biologically and some would come from others mothers and find their place within our family. I have always felt that this knowledge is my opportunity in motherhood. I more than understand that adoption isn't for everyone, however I hope other's are just as understanding that some are called to adopt. I do think that's what it is, a calling. Not a calling that makes me any better or our family any better than anyone else's, just a calling. Something we have always known we are suppose to do and it's our choice to fulfil it. We all have callings as parents: to how we teach our children, raise our children and love our children, and with our calling there's just a different twist. I choose to adopt because after many prayers about the knowledge I have been given, I can't go back, only forward. Adoption is part of me, it runs in my blood, it's deep within my soul,it's the center my family and the only way I know our family can be completed!
Our daughter Camry came to us last August really frustrated, mad and crying. She said, "I know we are suppose to adopt, you guys aren't doing anything about it. I have been praying about it and I tell Halli and Elijah to pray about it every night. You guys need to start doing something about it." I reassured her that it's always our goal to adopt and that we(mom and dad) would continue to seek our Loving Heavenly Father about his timing for our family and adoption. She has stayed just as persistent, always reminding us to pray constantly for our kids, her siblings. Camry knows why we adopt, it's part of her. Our family has been prepared for this! Our kids willingness to love and give all they have to their siblings that they have never meet. It's a testimony within ourselves that this is right for our family and a daily conviction from God that we are doing what He has planned for us!
When Casey and I met and started talking marriage we went over the glorious details of family. The first thing I said to him is, "I know that I am suppose to adopt". He said, "great me too"! That was our whole conversation. When we started contemplating adding to our family we prayed as to whether we were to adopted first our have our bio kids first. We received the direction to have Halli and Camry biologically and immediately after I had Camry(in the hospital). I looked at Casey and said our next baby is suppose to be adopted. We prayed on that, fasted and sure enough Elijah joined our family within 8 weeks of starting the process. After Elijah was born we worked on many other adoption opportunities that failed, however I told Casey and I knew two more kids were to join our family biologically. So we pursue that knowledge. Since having our last two kiddos, I know the rest of our kids that will complete our family will come through adoption. To sum it all up, it's just something I have always known, I pray about it, fast or attend the temple to further my knowledge of how it's suppose to happen and then we go forward in faith.
I also want to add that I myself have been blessed with adoption. Not all on paper, but in love. My dad adopted me when I was 2.5, never meeting my bio father. My older sister(same bio mom) adopted me and raised me from the age of 13-17. She then got married and moved so I then lived with her bio dad and mom. All of these wonderful people adopted me into their heart, into their home and into their lives forever. I know what it's like to be loved by those willing to offer it. I am grateful everyday for the parents in my life, for the love and support they gave and their willingness to do so!
I watched this for the first time today on a friends blog(thanks Lois) and was in tears. I was touched deeply. Yes, this song was written for somewhat of a different meaning/purpose. However I have never had a problem applying anything to my own life.
You will LOVE this amazing song:
I am going to write how each part touched me!
I saw what I saw and I can't forget it(The day I saw my Ghanaian Kids faces in pictures!) I heard what I heard and I can't go back(The day I heard your voices on the phone say "YES", when we asked in you would like to join our family) I know what I know and I can't deny it.(That you are a part of our family forever)
Something on the road(Journey of adoption) Cut me to the soul(Cut me to the soul)
Your pain has changed me(Knowing all the hard work you have to do with hunger pains) Your dream inspires(because they are things that most of us take for granted) Your face a memory(Is with me everyday) Your hope a fire(Shown in your smile) Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of(not holding you one day) And what I know of love(it's a gift, a blessing)
We've done what we've done and we can't erase it(we've started our adoption journey and there is no end until your home.) We are what we are and it's more than enough( a family) We have what we have but it's no substitution(we need you home, we aren't complete)
Something on the road Cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me(knowing you eat very little) Your dream inspires(your love to learn) Your face a memory(always with me) Your hope a fire(gets me through my long days) Your courage asks me what I'm made of And what I know of love(My love is unconditional)
I say what I say with no hesitation(I love you!) I have what I have and I'm giving it up(To God to make happen) I do what I do with deep conviction(Adopt)
Something on the road, cut me to the soul(making a lasting impression)
Your pain has changed me Ooohhh... Your dreams inspire Ooohhh... Your face a memory Ooohhh... Your hope a fire Ooohhh...
Your pain has changed me(I look forward to the day I can give you 3 meals) Your dream inspires(my dream is to hold you) Your face a memory(one I hope to see on a daily basis) Your hope a fire(a fire I can't wait to feel when I get to hold you) Your courage asks me what I am afraid of(all the waiting) Your courage asks me what I am made of(love, strength and determination) Your courage asks me what I am afraid of(more waiting) And what I know of God,(He's directed me to me kids) And what I know of God.(our kids in Ghana are part of is His eternal plan for us)
DO YOU LOVE NEW WAYS TO TEACH YOUR KIDS GOSPEL PRINCIPLES? We have a treat for you. We have created THE PLAN OF SALVATION KIT-it's perfect for family home evening, sunday school or primary classes or get for little gift for V.T or Home Teaching families :P THIS KIT INCLUDES ALL SCRIPTURAL REFERENCES AND LESSON!
VALENTINES ORDERS- TASTEBUDS GOURMET FUDGE AND SPECIALITY SALSA We have received a few phone calls or messages this week from some of our friends asking if they can order more FUDGE. So we will be ramping up TASTEBUDS for Valentines day. SALSA $5 a pint and FUDGE $6.50 per pound(+shipping). Yes, I said pound on the fudge. For those of you who ordered during the holidays we actually gave you a full pound of fudge @ $6.50 instead of the the half pound we had written. OOPS Glad, you all enjoyed it :P The pkgs will come decorated with a pink ribbon and a pink label. If you have any questions or would like to make an order leave us a comment or use our contact info at the top, right side of our blog to email us or send funds.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for your continual support. All proceeds will go to our adoption fundraising efforts. THANKS
Here's an email from a Mother/Teacher who taught at Luckyhill and is adopting their sweet daughter from Luckyhill!
I can tell you about two siblings I love, love, love: little Kingsley (8) and his sister Sarah (11). I know Kingsley the best since I spent a lot more time teaching in in Class 3, but they are both very nice children. In fact, little Kingsley is big Kingsley's favorite student. Once, little Kingsley brought a roll that he saved from home to give to "Sir" (big Kingsley) as a way of thanking him giving him for the chance to go to school. Kingsley said in all his years of teaching little Kingsley is the only student who has ever given him a gift. He is also very smart and always at the top of his class. He's well liked by the other students and gets along with everyone. He is the rare kind who you just know would never intentionally do anything wrong. I would describe his personality as thoughtful, mellow, reserved, highly intelligent.
An epiphany
My hope is that my children will grow to have a full understanding that color alone does not define who they are. I want them to understand that they are not just white or just black but that they are a product of many cultures and heritages that have been brought together through adoption. I have made it my goal to unite our family in learning our many cultures.
